


“The Mailman”

by jesuswchrist



Series: the neighborhood [1]
Category: Smosh
Genre: F/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26224165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuswchrist/pseuds/jesuswchrist
Summary: What does he have that I don't?
Series: the neighborhood [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909165
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	“The Mailman”

I walked up to my ex's front door. I had to grab some things I forgot to grab 6 months ago when I moved out. I knocked on the door. I heard steps and then the door unlocked.

"Hey. Sorry, I'm here to get the last of my stuff then I'll finally be out of your hair." I say. I look up and see a man.  **_The mailman._ ** The mailman is in my ex's house handing me my copy of  _ Forza Horizon 4.  _ I grabbed it.

"I-I'm sorry, where's Courtney?" I ask him. He takes a bite from a chocolate chip cookie he was holding. He motions toward the living room. I stepped inside. 

I was astounded at how clean it was.  **_The living room was never this goddamn clean._ ** I turned and saw her sitting in the burgundy recliner I had bought for our 5th anniversary. I couldn't believe she kept it.

“Oh, so you get to keep the $588 chair but I get to keep the $10 racing game?” I said, in a joking manner.

“Dude, what do you want?” She said, frustrated. She got up from her chair and walked into the small kitchen, which we both hated.

“I just need to get the last of my things and then you’ll never see me again. You have my word.” I promised as I walked with her. 

She told me it was all in the laundry room. She lead me there as if I had forgotten where it was, even though we bought the house together. She shut the door behind me. 

“Listen, I know this is an uncomfortable situation for you, but it is for me too.” She said, in a serious tone. I looked at her, confused by what that means.

Then it hit me. 

The mailman was the reason we split up. He was the one she cheated on me with while I was off at school getting my Master’s degree.  **_He was the reason we got divorced._ **

“I know, I should’ve told you. But we’re happy together and our plans work together.” She explained. I grabbed my things and tried to open the door. She grabbed the handle before I could.

“I’M PREGNANT, OKAY?” She yelled. “And I’m finally happy. I know you’ll find the girl that’s right for you, and you’ll be happy like me.”

“That’s the thing, Courtney, I don’t have a girl out there for me because I AM DESTINED TO BE ALONE. I loved you, Court. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you NOT to cheat on your loving spouse of 3 years with the  **FUCKING MAILMAN** ! I have to go.” I shouted. I grabbed the handle and rushed out. 

This was officially the worst visit to my ex-wife’s house ever.

**Author's Note:**

> The mailman and the main character/ex-husband are left ambiguous to let you decide which one is Shayne and which one is Damien. I know which one is which, you guys can guess


End file.
